The past 3 days I have noticed these tiny painful bumps on the inside of my right palm. (The past 3 days I also went to the gym. File this under: another reason working out is not safe. Remember the bee sting??)
My logic, was that the dirty, man infested, Guido, intense, ugly gym I go to, infected me with some sort of - sweaty-guido-virus via the elliptical handles. Seems to make perfect sense.
My boyfriend, seemed to believe, that when I was sleeping, some sort of bedbug crawled into my hand and laid baby bug eggs.
Gross. Both options gross.
So I decided today to go to a dermatologist and have it looked at. I randomly googled a doctor in the area that took my insurance, and for whatever reason they were able to take me right away.
The doctor was adorable, super sweet and bubbly and talkative. She was looking at my weird hand under her microscope and seemed stumped. (Actually turned out she is dating my uncle’s brother. Small world!)
"I think what we should do, is freeze this. Scrape it all off, and send it to the lab to do a biopsy."
I instantly went pale. Cold sweat. I am so, so squeamish.
"I’m squeamish," I told her. "I am telling you now I will faint."
She lowered the chair all the way down so it was a bed. Gave me an icepack to keep under my neck. And gave me a tootsie roll pop. Embarrassing. Delicious. It helped.
As I am laying there, I casually mentioned how I had some strange red mark on the side of my head for oh, five months now that won’t go away.
"We are going to need to remove and biopsy that as well. The face is worrisome. It is probably nothing, but it could be cancerous."
And so, this is what I look like now. All bandaged up. For 3-4 days. BANDAID ON FACE for the entire weekend. Super.